They withhold affection until exactly the right moment. What can initially be written off as a devil may care attitude, actually just says that they don’t really value your time – which is exactly what you don’t want from a date or partner! For example, it’s not unusual to hear them say stuff like, “I can’t really have a serious girlfriend right now because my band is about to blow up and I might be touring in 6 months” or “I’m doing all these multi-million deals this week.
However, when a bad-girl or bad-boy decides to shower you with attention, it’s like having that first sip of an ice cold beer on hot summer day: it just tastes that much sweeter. It’s going to be all hands on deck, so really I’ll only be able to see you super late at night.” They do this as a subtle way to let you that you’re not their #1 priority (until they need you) and that they can’t commit. Whether it’s asking you to come over at 2am “to watch TV” or wanting to go kayaking in the middle of a workday, trying to pin down a bad boy or girl to regular post 9-5 dating hours is nearly impossible.
But bad boys aren’t the only dangerous men out there.
You need to watch out for the “super nice guys” as well.
Remember the episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted was being kept “on the hook” by a girl he was interested in?
Keeping someone “on the hook” basically means telling them, “You’re awesome and amazing but I can’t date you….” It stops commitment dead in it’s tracks by alluding to an imaginary future that most likely will never happen and it’s classic bad boy/bad girl behavior.
Instead, most of us are drawn to people who are confident and self-assured.
Bad boys and girls take this to a whole other level.
I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I don’t want to date someone who is a pushover.
Super nice guys can end up wasting a lot of your precious time.
The mixed messages he’s sending will make you feel conflicted about breaking up with him because after all, he treats you so well and he obviously likes you.
At the end of the day, they’re called “bad” for a reason – because dating them often leads to a lot of frustration and/or heartache.
Not sure whether you have a bad boy or bad girl on your hands?
Well, just like a super nice women, super nice guys bend over backwards not to hurt your feelings.