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While not all of my clients pursue psychotherapy specifically for dating guidance, their goal to be in a fulfilling, healthy relationship often comes up during treatment.

I’ve noticed that there are four big fears that my single clients—both men and women—share.

When you are confident in who you are, you interact with others in a different way.

It’s hard to pin down but we can all sense when someone is confident in who they are versus someone who isn’t confident.

Yes, compromise is required in relationships but it doesn’t mean that you have to give up all of your drive and ambition once you’ve entered a committed relationship.

I know this from experience, but also because single women come into my office every day looking for help on how to sort through all the pressure, expectations, and confusion of being single and dating. In my work as a psychotherapist, my clients tell story after story about how difficult it is to go on one first date after the next.That might mean taking a different approach to online dating or even taking a more casual approach to dating (so that you feel less pressured).It doesn’t matter what that change looks like as long as you don’t let those weird dates hold you back from searching for a meaningful relationship. Not all the single women and men I work with are frustrated with being single; many of them are afraid of being in a relationship, too.Think of them as opportunities for you to learn about yourself and what you are looking for in a relationship.If you have been on a streak of particularly bad dates, maybe it’s time to change up the way you approach dating?

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Make a plan to challenge them and make changes in your life to prove these fears wrong.

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