On Monday, I talked a little about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men.
Today, I want to start the conversation to help dismantle it.
We come up with increasingly baroque reasons why we have been uniquely disadvantaged – we’re too “beta”, for example, for the notoriously “hypergamous” women.
Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.And just as traditional masculinity is a fragile thing, any minor deviation from the Virginity Narrative throws the whole thing into disarray. And there will be plenty of people eager to reinforce the narrative, to mock us, and tell us that this deviation from the narrative calls our masculinity into question.The story that we’re supposed to lose our virginity by X milestone doesn’t take into consideration that navigating relationships – romantic, sexual or platonic – can be difficult, stressful, even . Just as the gender police are eager to punish people who don’t live up to the traditional definitions of manhood.I was so embarrassed about being one of the great untouched that during my Freshman year, I made up a story about having gotten laid during Spring Break just to feel like I was one of the “normal” people.that much in hopes that I might hit that metaphorical home run.