I broke up with her for a woman who was like a Sex and the City character come to life. After a few months of phone calls, I flew to the East Coast to go on a four-day make-it-or-break-it date. Exactly as I pulled away from the darling girl who would have done anything for me, Miss NYC pulled away from me. This means that you’ve been married, so you don’t feel the need to do it again.When pressed, she said I had 90% of what she was looking for – but didn’t feel the necessary attraction to start a long-distance relationship. You’ve had two kids, so you don’t hear the ticking clock. Loads of us are still single because nice isn’t enough for a long term relationship.
As for what you should do with this guy, it sounds to me like your mind is already made up. Staying with him when your heart’s not in it is doing neither of you any favors.
In short, a guy doesn’t have to be a jerk to do well with women. And while I hate to keep on referencing old blog posts, some of them apply specifically to this theme, especially this one, which says: Let’s see… I think those two things are the essence of any relationship.
By your admission, he “calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc.” So what do you think? Or is there something more to dating and relationships than what someone does for you? And I think they get lost when we start focusing on checklists.
He is 37, divorced with one teenage kid that he sees every other weekend. I can’t figure out if I’m attracted to him or the fact that he’s a good guy. Calls, writes me letters, texts, takes me out, does family outings, asks about my day, washes my car, is clean, is fit, responsible, understanding, compliments me, etc, etc. We don’t get too much opportunity to spend alone time so we’ve only slept with each other twice. He’s completely fallen for me, thinks I’m strong, independent, beautiful, good mom, etc. Then the dilemma becomes do I let this great guy go and regret it afterward? As I see it, you’re asking a few separate questions here. You may be confounding to men, but you’re definitely not crazy and definitely not wrong…. We can break it down to its elemental components, but that thing that you feel, which draws you to a man? No more than the base attraction a man has to a woman when he sees her across a crowded room.
wants to make me happy and for me to be his “girlfriend” and I can just tell the L word is coming along any day now. Sure everyone puts their best foot forward when they’re dating but who’s to say he’ll stay like that? Dear Diana, I can only imagine that thousands of women were reading your post and nodding along at the familiarity of your situation. Let’s break them down separately, so hopefully you can find a little clarity – or, more likely, validation, for how you feel. There has been a great deal written on this, and there’s an entire industry designed to explain to “nice guys” how to attract women.
Not because I’m looking for online action (my Lulu status is “Single, and happy,”) but to see just how it worked.