It shouldn't always—or, ideally, ever—be on women to educate men on how to have, you know, basic humanity.
Guys can and should call out their friends when they step over the line and teach them methods for navigating the dating world with manners, dignity, and Not Being a Damn Rapist.)These lessons are crucial to have in romantic comedies, which have long functioned as a lens through which society can see and satirize its dating habits and the current state of play between the sexes.
So remember: what you’re offering, even if it’s just an enjoyable chat with a stranger, is valuable. Hitch lists off a series of common brush-off lines, followed by an emphatic insistence that the women who use these lines are lying to you. Although most of the women who use these lines believe them at the time, it’s a common occurrence for a woman to claim that she’s too busy/not ready/whatever, only to find herself head-over-heels in love not a month later.
For example: “That’s so interesting you go abseiling at weekends. Your profile is a window to the real you so take care over it, as it can open up a wealth of new possibilities.
If you ask someone out in a way that demonstrates your enthusiasm and how much thought you've put into the date (doing 90 percent of the work), while also making it clear that the other person has the option to say no (without, say, causing you to break down or hurt them/yourself—two tactics abusers use to get what they want) and she says no, there's no date.
It's just a guideline, of course, and nothing replaces verbal communication, but if Will Smith can give Kevin James a pretty workable definition of How to Come On to Someone Without Being a Creep in three and a half minutes, you and your gang can follow it.(I also think it's worth noting that this is a guy-to-guy moment.
One photo even had four guys grinning at the camera; aint nobody got time to figure out who you are. The ‘lol’ acronym Overusing the lol acronym, especially when it adds no comedic value to your words, is a particularly off-putting practice. I’ve come across far too many profiles that are little more than a few words long.
Example: “I’ve not had much luck finding a girl, so that’s why I’m on here lol! It projects the sense that you are either from nervous laughter and/or you’re not taking it that seriously. For example: ‘Ask me more’ or – shock, horror – ‘Looking for someone.’ You are shooting yourself in the foot with this – no one will be interested in even clicking to find out more.
Though there are a ton of resources for people who want to learn about rape culture and consent, the fact is, it's often not until college that many people encounter them (though a lot of people are working to change that).