Uber driver picture " data-medium-file="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? fit=300,200" data-large-file="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? fit=850,567" style="display:none" class="crazy_lazy size-full wp-image-2132" src="data:image/gif;base64, R0l GODlh AQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==" data-src=" alt="Uber driver picture" width="1200" height="800" srcset="https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? w=1200 1200w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=300,200 300w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=768,512 768w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=1024,683 1024w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=450,300 450w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=850,567 850w, https://i1com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Noel-Tock.jpg? resize=750,500 750w" sizes="(max-width: 739px) 94vw, (max-width: 969px) 88vw, (max-width: 1199px) 860px, 850px" /I had just dropped off some young lady at her apartment when the request came through. I intended to drive straight home after dropping this particular client. My name is Daniel and I am an Uber driver based in Nairobi.
When was the last time you went to watch a performance at the Kenya National Theatre? When was the last time you spanked your wife’s ass?
Me: You question me like there’s something wrong with normalcy. It is what our ancestors fought and died for all those years ago. For the right of Kenyans to lead their normal, boring lives. Maybe you even have a quickie before you jump out of bed and grab a shower. Or she is on her period and you’re horny so you masturbate in the shower. Then you have to make sure your normal kids are ready for normally uninteresting school and then they are off. I don’t have toilet paper but I have some wet wipes which he grabs, gets out of the car, walks to the middle lane, pulls down his pants and squats. I am growing increasingly uncomfortable with him being inside my car so I press the fuel pedal to the floor because I want to get to Githurai as quickly as possible and be rid of this Charles character.
Me: Finding something that hasn’t been found by anyone else before? As a matter of fact, driving around Nairobi at this time of the night is therapeutic. With a normal job and a normal relationship and normal friends and normal beliefs, right? w=620 620w, https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? resize=300,187 300w, https://i2com/markmaish.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/soldgers.jpg? resize=450,281 450w" sizes="(max-width: 620px) 94vw, 620px" /You wake up from your boring bed in the morning and say good morning to your uninteresting wife and she smiles and says good morning to her uninteresting husband. Maybe it’s the way he says it that gets me to pull over to the side. Besides, I’m getting sleepy so I need to get home quickly and sleep.
Me: (Wondering where this conversation is headed) I am sure it’s more complicated than that. If I had to drive around Nairobi for a living, I’d probably turn into a serial killer and follow my passengers home and kill them in their beds just to sweeten my life up. At night, you drive back home to your wife and you’re both too tired to have an interesting shag so you just grab another shower and collapse in bed like a log. Because you know what, there are people dying for you to live. Because when your life is in danger, that’s when you start appreciating it. He takes one long dump without any hurry or care in the world.
And you have to come to your uber driving job, which forgive me for saying, is pretty boring. Right there in the middle of the biggest highway in the country.
A certain kind of sharpness and metallic substance that is used to throwing orders around. Students, lawyers, doctors, business folks, and they all talk the same. College students are irritating especially when tanked or commuting in a group. They mostly ride in silence particularly those who have seen combat.