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Instead of focusing so much energy on someone else, I would pay more attention to myself. I lost 7lb.' Diana Parkinson explains: 'Years ago women were having better and more regular sex.Now, there's no time for a loving, satisfying relationship.I knew I had to do something to regain control of my emotions.'Some have mocked or thought I was joking,' she says. One date actually complained, 'I need to test out my women before I can marry them.' Offended, I pretended I needed the lavatory and snuck out of the restaurant.'Relationships should be more about good conversation at my age,' she says. I don't want to let my children down or start the neighbours gossiping about strangers' cars on the driveway overnight.''He put his arm round me, showed me his bedroom and tried to seduce me,' she says. But then he tried to get me to go home with him again. 'Although I only slept with a couple of men before I married my first husband, I didn't take rejection personally. Diana Parkinson says insecurity is another reason older women are becoming celibate. It's intimidating and celibacy is convenient for women who have fears about their ability to perform sexually.'She admits, however, that abstaining has been harder than it was in her 20s. But that doesn't mean I have to follow through on it.But for a woman of my age to be rejected would be horrible. 'Sex was an important part of my marriage and, just as you wouldn't know how lovely chocolate was if you hadn't tasted it, I now know what I am missing,' she says.'I'm human, so the desire is there.

But just as he summoned the waiter, his date, 40-year-old Pascal D'Sanchez, leaned forward and whispered words that took the wind out his sails.'I don't want to make a big issue of it by going into my reasons. 'When he moved in on me I made my excuses and left.He apologised for coming on too strong, but made exactly the same moves on our third date, so I broke it off.'The second - another business executive - exerted the same kind of pressure before Judy turned him down. He gave up and I never heard from him again.'When I was in my 20s I was more relaxed about sex,' she admits.The hurt she endured certainly contributed towards her vow of chastity. 'My confidence was shattered and being on my own was daunting.Being single a year short of my 40th birthday was frightening.

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But rather than viewing sex as an intrinsic part of a successful relationship, they see it as an unnecessary hindrance.

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