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Last week, the candid conversations moved to interview-like questions on how xxx acts in a relationship, and it was devoid of compassion or adoration for xxx another like it had been in the past.
It was all much too confusing and slowly heart-breaking, as I still had hope and was waiting for that old guy that I liked so much to give me some adoration or care.
I dare not share my feelings of hurt and embarrassment. I appreciated your response but now see that I closed the door to the possibility of us. A romantic, passionate love is a drug, but safer than your cocaine. I have, which is why I'm not as cynical as you are about commitment.
I will wait for that love again because I know it exists.
Lying next to you that night, with your back turned to me, felt awful.
I thought, why am I even here if you don't even want to face me, or touch me.
Our first real date Last Sunday early morning, after our first date, I crept out of your house.
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It's probably not going to be with you, but the glimpse I've had into your psyche, the hurt I've seen, the broken, guarded man that you are today (I truly mean no insult) saddens me.
It really makes my heart ache to see someone so capable and with the capacity for something great to waste away and delve into work, believing that that will fill your voids.
Being a "fixer" I can't help but still think about you each day and wonder if you even think about me at all.