“We had both recently read the same weird sci-fi book series. I knew because no one had ever made me laugh as much as he did, and no guy had ever laughed as much at my jokes.But he sat next to me, and somehow we ended up chatting without a pause from New York City all the way to D. I wouldn’t quite call it love at first sight, but rather this strong feeling of ‘but of course,’ or inevitability, but in a good way.“In our twenties, after we’d been together for a couple of years, I considered whether we should take a Ross-and-Rachel-style ‘break’ so we could date other people and see who was out there. Not because I was getting bored — quite the opposite — but I was a little freaked out by the growing feeling I had that we might be together forever.
“That said, I’ve always thought of love as an action, not a feeling.I believe in my relationship because of the small things we do for one another every day.Like yesterday, when my husband sent me a weird cat GIF at the exact moment I needed to laugh. I’ve never been a particularly romantic person, but that felt pretty special to me.” — Danielle He was the nicest.“With my fiancé, it wasn’t the crazy roller coaster I was used to. For instance, very early in our relationship, he schlepped an air mattress all the way from the Upper West Side to my downtown apartment when my girlfriends were staying for the weekend.It wasn’t anything hugely significant, but I remember being surprised because all the previous jerks I had dated would never have offered.
We’ve talked about dating, heartbreak and what to ask before you get married. “Maybe this is just semantics, but I say: Forget about ‘knowing.’ Perhaps some people experience that, but every time I thought I did, it turned out to be an illusion. The difference with my wife was having that ‘knowing’ feeling, but that was the one.