This also means that whether you opt in or you opt out, you do it for the right reasons for you, then you always know that you did the best you could under the circumstances at the time and have little to regret. Whether it's figuring out what’s going on in a troubling relationship, understanding you and self-care, or being more assertive, I’m here to help you guide you.Just remember, unless there’s danger, there is no harm with choosing a ‘channel’ for a while and letting the ‘programme’ unfold. That and that future they keep considering and stalling decisions about, catches up with them and becomes the present, and then they dodge that too. If you’re asking yourself if you can do better than a relationship that isn’t mutually fulfilling and lacks love, care, trust, and respect as well as shared values and other landmarks? If you’re asking if you can do better and find someone who is more satisfying on secondary values like appearance, or how much money they have, or how much more IQ they can have, or whatever, you might want to consider whether it’s time to look a bit deeper and make sure you’re actually living your life congruent with values and seeking partners who you can actually forge a future with. No you might not have ended up with the people who you’ve cast aside for what on reflection may seem silly reasons or certainly not the life or death you thought they were back then, but each dating experience is actually an opportunity to positively learn about what you would like to find in another person and even understanding yourself (your values).
Be satisfied with and value you, so that you can relax into your interactions instead of looking over your shoulder. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.
Lastly, letting a man pursue doesn’t mean waiting around so long that you become impatient and borderline desperate.
Or even worse, settle for treatment that is less than what you deserve.
My friend asked him for suggestions about good spots for meeting single guys and after telling us that he and all of his friends were gay, he repeated what I’ve heard many times – that it’s very hard to meet guys and in fact, male or female, it’s difficult to lock down a relationship. It’s not like that summer jumpsuit that I found in the Anthropologie sale room in Houston, Texas last summer that I I hemmed and hawed about and then kicked myself for not snapping it up because I didn’t find it another store. Wondering if you can do better all the time, is a bit like when you sit down to watch TV but instead of choosing a programme, watching it and engaging in it, you spend the time surfing around on the off chance that there’s something better to watch.
It’s like you hate the idea that you might have missed out on viewing something better that would have left you as satisfied as you expect.
When you think about letting a man pursue you, consider letting him take the lead when it makes sense for him to do so.